A Day Off


Man- I haven't written on this thing in forever! Life is great- so many opportunities and exciting things ahead. I don't think I have ever felt so creative before. Learning how to nurture this state is interesting. I try to keep in the gym in the mornings to keep leveling up my circus/tumbling skills, keep singing and playing guitar, playing piano scales, reading Shakespeare, speaking Shakespeare.. Drinking tea. But I have to continue this exploration of self. It seems to me that I am limitless, but it seems to me now that there are so many things in my heart and mind that were planted there long ago that are now impeding my growth. Issues of family, of love, of passion- things that I have set aside, but need to be dusted off. How often am I myself? I wonder that now-a-days. Actually, the question is "why don't I think much of myself?" Not in an emo, wrist-slashing introspective, but truly: why do I think I am undeserving in life, or that it is not my place to do what I feel is right? Writing this down, it totally sounds like a cop-out, an easy excuse to not engage with risk, pain or failure.

Well screw the path of least resistance! I've only got this one life (as far as I know) and I must continue to pull upon the fabric that makes up me.. if I want to continue to grow and understand myself.